Monday, November 10, 2008

Monday Memories


Today, I had to get up early and speed over to Richmond Hill to sit with the sweet little lady that I am watching!! She is the nicest person, but is in her own world and tells you all about it all of the time...I think that I have said..."I understand" about 55 times just today!! I just smile, and listen to her....and believe me she is NEVER silent NEVER!!

The reason i am calling this MONDAY MEMORIES is because of just watching her and having her telling me about all of the memories that surround her makes me think that someday i will be this way!! Just wanting to have pictures around me. Statues of things that mean a lot to me. Things that we so seldom just call STUFF but to her they are so very important!! I feel like i will be the same way in that respect...wanting things around me that remind of my past and the JOY that i knew then!!

I know this sounds a little upsetting when I write it and believe me lately this has really impacted me!! Knowing that maybe someday i might be in this same state of mind!! WHO knows!! I just hope that i have a loving family that will see past the emptiness in my eyes and realize that I am still there but maybe not on the same level as they are!! Youth is wonderful!! The older I get the more i can realize and understand this!!

Mrs. B is a great lady!! She tells me so many many stories and of course half of them are not at all correct!! She used to love to read so I am sure that she is remembering these stories and just making up a lot that has been placed in her brain.

Today as most days we are in Berlin during WWII and she is helping the nurses there. Oh she is not a nurse but only there to help the soldiers...then she talks about when she was acting in high school and then tried to keep doing it here on the stage in Savannah. Then we go to her trying to become a lawyer...You know women were not thought of as judges then...That is what she says...

After lunch I was cleaning up the kitchen. She had been down the hall for a long time so I thought i had better see what she was doing. I went down the hall and found that she had been combing her hair...YES and even put on lipstick!! Now that is a great thing!! She saw me and said, "Well, I knew that you were here and you have been such great company... I told her how pretty she looked and that made her very very happy!!

I truly feel so sorry for this lady!! Just like Melli that cares for her mother-in-law, I now see how depressing this can get!! I love being around her...but you can only take so many many times being told the same thing over and over and over again!! Melli, I really understand !! I get to go home too!!

Mrs. B really makes my heart break!! I almost feel like crying sometimes because she is just the neatest woman and only 83...she has been in this downward spiral for the past 10 years..Just think people..I am 63 that is only 10 years for me...73!! Oh I am not saying this is going to happen to me but somehow it just puts it into perspective for me...Time is so precious and so our memories!!


13 comments:

Peggy said...

Oh but the wonderful memories they leave with us! I miss Ms. Fran terrribly but am so blessed to have her stories she told over and over in my memory. There were days I didn't think I could handle even talking with her on the phone but now I am glad I did. I hope one day I will leave my stories for someone elses memories. You are such a dear to sit with her!

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

the more you talk about mrs. b the more she sounds like my mom. she was 88 when she died two years ago. she was happy too, all the time, feared no one or nothing. she never knew a stranger. that was a big worry for me but we were lucky in that she never had a problem. she played the organ too, by ear. never read a note but could hear something and play it. she had a list of songs she liked and played her list every day. mostly swing and old hymns...

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Baba's Blog .. Babies Are Special said...

Wow.. Sandy, you are a sweetheart to take care and sit with Mrs. B.How many days and hours a week are you going to do this?? It is sad that we do not know what is ahead in our lifetime!!! Or what our kids may have to face with us one day..
Take care, hugs.. Barb

Melli said...

Sandy - Dennis' Mom was like your Mrs. B from about 10 years ago until about 2 years ago. But now, she doesn't say hardly ANYTHING. I don't have to listen to her stories anymore. She still had a few (very few) when she came to live here... but over the past year ALL of her memories are gone. Now she only talks about what is happening right now this minute. If she sees something out the window -- or a headline catches her fancy she'll comment. But most of the time she is verrrrrry quiet now. I play old music for her -- or even today's music -- and my praise songs of course. She likes music - it's distracting... gives her something to concentrate on ... or whatever you wanna call it. Maybe something to NOT concentrate on! But there is very little conversation anymore. I have to pull teeth AND perform root canals just to get a few words out of her over lunch. She just doesn't HAVE a thought. If you ask her "what are you thinking about RIGHT NOW?" ... she gets very confused and says "nothing... I wasn't thinking about ANYthing..." It's so sad... I do knOw how annoying the stories are over and over and over -- but be happy Mrs. B still has stories to tell. Eventually she won't. Unless God blesses her and takes her home before that!

Denise said...

You are so very sweet, bless you. I love you.

Technonana said...

Yes indeed my friend, life is precious and we need to enjoy it to the fullest every day!!!
Thanks for blessing us with this precious story!!

Smilingsal said...

I know what you mean. I went through this with my mother and mother-in-law. Mama was 88 when she died and Johnny's mother was 92. (sigh) It's scary for me to think that's my future, but I guess it will happen to us all if we live long enough.

Needled Mom said...

What a blessing you are to Mrs. B.

Nancy said...

I know how you feel because I'm going through the same thing with my mom. It is so sad to watch and so hard to get through the one day each week that I spend with her. What a blessing for Mrs. B you are and as you said... you get to go home at the end of the day.

PEA said...

Bless your heart for spending time with Mrs. B. and listening to her, even though it must take a lot of patience on your part. It truly is sad when Dementia sets in and as you say, when you're with someone who has that, it really makes you worried about ending up like that as well one day. A few of my mom's brothers & sisters had Dementia before they died in their 80's and I know that it really worries my mom that she'll have it as well. I make sure I keep an eye on her for any symptoms. xoxo

Lazy Daisy said...

Don't worry babe, we'll be in the same nursing home and I'll listen to your stories and add to them. Won't we have some stories to tell too? You come from Good Stock so I don't think you'll have to worry about losing your memories. Love ya!

char72 said...

73. That's just ONE year away for me. I'm amazed at how the time keeps flying by faster each year. I remember when I was a teenager and I would get aggrivated at my grandmother for telling the same stories over and over. My mother and father both developed dementia in their 80s. It's pretty scary. I'm really impressed with the way you care for that dear lady. Keep up the good work. Somehow I don't think I need to tell you that.
Hugs,
Charlotte

Denise said...

Thanks for sharing that girl.. I am having to watch my Mom disappears day after day and some days it is just more than I can bear... She has always been mentally distant but these days she is moving into a place that I cannot go......... I struggle to remember her from years ago...... I hold on to my memories......