Friday, April 25, 2008


I am home today and will not have to go to work till Monday and Tuesday afternoon...then I am off for a small extended amount of time.

With all of this last 4 weeks of madness that I have been going has made me stop and think just how do people that do....DRUGS...actually do them or WANT to do them.

These past few weeks of withdrawal has been very hard on me. It has been hard emotionally, of course. It has surely been hard on my body. We know it has been hard on my family too!!

This makes me wonder about those that do this JUST BECAUSE!! I cannot wrap my thoughts around this concept. Especially now!! WHY would someone want to feel like this all of the time? i know during the drug high i suppose all is okay but or my i just cannot get over this.

Life is short...why mess it up so badly!! Sure maybe they do not have a loving family to support them. Maybe they feel like their life is just not what they thought it would a little bit of getting away from reality helps. i am just talking about AFTER that high and fun time!! I just don't get it.

My "listening" nurse PA told me that i would make a poor DRUG ADDICT!! Yes!! did not want to go there anyway.

When I was going through menopause I really contemplated suicide twice...but only for a fleeting moment. I learned through that long process just how it easy it is to loose your mind!! I think it always just "around the corner" for everyone.

Our brains are so very complex. I understand that mine is extremely!! smile!! Mine cannot take any sort of chemical/change at all. I have to know that now I need to take care of myself and let this new medication that i am starting kick in and make me..."Sandy" again!! I am saying (with all of these words) that i have learned a good life lesson in this past 4 weeks experience!!

What would we be if when things happened to us that we would not take some message from that happening? Not what God wants us to be for sure!! Learn from your mistakes!! Hm!! Boy I am learning here..right now and plan to NEVER be so stupid again.


1. When I fell in love, it was forever!!
2. Georgia summers are when the flowers bloom and it heats up outside!
3. Oh no! The internet connection is down, i may have to do something else..WOW
4. Earl is the craziest tv show ever.
5. Cheese and crackers make a great meal!
6. A garden is one of my favorite places to be.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Nothing in particular tomorrow my plans include attending a baby shower and Sunday, I want to just feel like myself again!!

Thanks Melli for this fun exercise!! I need FUN...Got anymore?


Thought for the day: "I used to have a handle on life; but it broke!"


Julie said...

praying for you today. Hope you are feeling better. Busy here as usual:)but get the weekend off Yeah!!!

Melli said...

Well... I really don't think this is all YOUR fault! NO doctor should EVER put you on these medications without EXPLAINING to you exactly HOW you have to come off of them and making SURE you understand the danger if you don't!!! When my doctor started me on them he told me UP FRONT what to expect starting out on them, and HOW to wean off of them if I ever desired to. (which i did - didn't stop me from ending up right back ON them... but I didn't go through what YOU are going through!) That was just plain IRRESPONSIBLE on HIS part!!! (your doctor!) I'm mad at him! And still praying for you... (((hugs)))

Linda said...

I couldn't agree with Melli more.

One thing I have not shared is my new DIL's 1st husband died a couple weeks ago of a drug overdose. He was 33. Drugs was the reason they divorced.

I'll continue to keep you in my prayers.

Nancy said...

My prayers will continue for you, as you face the coming days. Your faith in God, loving family, and fantastic friends are a great support to you and your words are a testimony to what a great person you are! Take your time, take care of yourself and know that you are covered in prayer

Denise said...

Sending you love, prayers, and hugs.

Anonymous said...

Flip Flop Floozie....I just found your blog....sorry to hear about what you are going through.
Maybe I can give you a laugh.

Pam 'Oh Da Woods

Glo said...

Praying for you and hoping you get your handle back soon.

Love & big{{Hugs}}

Technonana said...

I wholeheartedly agree with the drug thing!! I can't imagine why anyone would want to feel like that just because.
Love the thought!!!
I hope you are on the mend soon!!!

Mar said...

I hope you feel like yourself again before Sunday!