Sunday, December 24, 2006

from (not by) flip flop floozie

If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do;
I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you,
and deliver some things just inside your front door,
things you have lost, but treasured before.
I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor, and to go along
with it, a neat tiny figure. Then restore the old color that
once graced your hair, before rinses and bleaches took
residence there

I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted, so things now
suspended need not be uplifted. I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down
your back until you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.

I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin, so you wouldn't
spend hours rubbing grease on your skin. You'd never have flashes or
queer dizzy spells and you wouldn't hear noises like ring ing of bells.
No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes; no searching for
spectacles when they're right on your nose. Not a shot would you
take in your arm, hip or fanny from a doctor who thinks you're a
nervous old granny.

You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take and no heating
pad needed since your muscles won't ache. Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never
look stupid. You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of cupid.

I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle &
and the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.

But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me; the matronliest of matrons
you ever did see.

I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got,
but I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.
Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere;
Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.

Now wouldn't this be one of the BEST Christmas gifts ever!!


Melli said...

I wish you WERE Santa! :)
Merry Christmas Sweety!

Anonymous said...

Great gifts you'd give. It's snowing here. Went by an ice fort made from water frozen in milk cartons....I'll see about getting a picture of it this evening when it's all lite up. Miss you.

Ma said...

Very lovely! Those are the best gifts ever. Merry Christmas, Sandy! God bless you now and always.

Anonymous said...

Wishing you and yours a most Joyous Christmas!!

Viamarie said...

A Blessed Christmas To You And Your Family!!!

Peggy said...

Merry Christmas my friend! My your New Year be filled with many many blessings!

Saija said...

blessings to you this Christmas!

Peace & joy too!

Reflection Through The Seasons said...

Dear Sandy....
Christmas blessings to you and your family and peace and joy throughout the new year. Marion x

Lulu said...


Terry said...

Dear Flip Flop..December 25 and I just thought I would pop in to say Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Hope that you will be having a really good time.
Did you get that bad boy Simon anything for Christmas , I mean after the bite he took out of you?
Some of our friends gave our cat a tiny shopping bag wirh cat food in it and a card that said..."To Shopper from "Santa Paws""
Take care now....Love Terry

Anonymous said...

Yes friendships made around the world on blogger are just a wonderful thing to behold. Our friendship, our chats are a very important part of my life now, I too hope they go on forever! :o)

I do hope your christmas day was filled with happiness.

I thank you for your kindness on the sudden loss of my auntie and look forward to a year filled with many great chats with you.
Happy holidays my friend.

Anonymous said...

Awwww...that was just fun to read. I'm praying that you all had a wonderful holiday.