Sunday, July 09, 2006


The New Alphabet

A is for Apple, and B is for Boat, That used to be right, But now it won't float! Age before Beauty is what we once said, But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C is the chest pains, perhaps cardiac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!

F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas which I'd rather not mention. H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I for incisions with scars you can show.

J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend. L for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next.

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow! P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R for reflux, one meal turns to two. S for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T for Tinnitus; there're bells in my ears!

U is for urinary; big troubles with flow; V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy" you know. W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found.

Y is another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest that I still have -- in my mind. I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, and I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!!!



10 comments:

Melli said...

Oh YES! This alphabet fits ME to a "T"! Too funny!

LadyBugCrossing said...

LOL!! That's great! My Gram would have loved it!!
LBC

It's a FLIP-FLOP World said...

I don't know why I have been talking about getting old on here lately...HMMM..Could it BE!!! Oh no...I am not getting old!! NOT ME!! NEVER!! Ha!! Oh SURE!! NEVER ME!! BUT this really fits me since I am yet going to another doctor today for yet another appt to see why I hurt...Oh well I am keeping them "well employed"
Sandy

Wystful1 said...

A is for applause
B is for ball
C is for cripplin' me with laughter!!!!

What a hoot.

Lazy Daisy said...

Ahhh....Floozie why all this old talk. Girlfriend you go more life in ya than anyone I know.

MugwumpMom said...

Is there a significant, milestone birthday coming up?
This was great! Loved it. Thanks for the laugh...it was a real belly one too!

The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

Did you make that up? That was too cute! I saw you commenting on a blog that I read and I had to stop by and see who this other flip-flop person was! Aren't flipflops great??? LOL!

The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

P.S. I forgot to say that the flip-flop fluzie name is hysterical!!!!

PEA said...

Do I call you Flip Flop or Floozie?? Anyway, hi:-) lol I've just come from Flossy's blog and I've seen your name many times in the comments section so thought I'd come and visit you!! I've ready a few of your posts and have thoroughly enjoyed them:-) Love the alphabet post...seems more and more of these things are starting to sound like me! lol Have a great day and I hope you don't mind if I come visit again:-)

Beckie said...

Sandy, you are hysterical! I love this one too. Did you do them?

If you don't mind (let me know), I will borrow them and post sometime.

btw...I'd love to meet you if you and your hubby come up. We could all have a wonderful time.

Blessings to you!